I have sometimes found my self having a "pity party" wondering if anyone appreciates the little things I have done for them, if the kindness, love and concern I have shown has been enough to warm their hearts and make a difference....today I can say that I am truly blessed with wonderful friends and family who over the past 5 days have reached out to me and offered me their love and support. It is amazing how much a phone call or a visit can so much to you and I am so thankful for each and every one of them this week.
This week seems like a dream....who's life have I been living, oh yeah mine. Monday morning I went in for some tests about my gallbladder. I have been having some pain for a week and a times it was unbearable. After review of my tests I was schedule an appointment with a surgeon at 3:15 PM. I called my mom and she came up to get the boys out of school and watch them until I got home. My brother Christopher came with me to the doctors office and I was shocked that within the first minute of the conversation I was being scheduled for emergency surgery. It seemed so surreal and I think I went into shock. I was in tears and called Ryan in utter panic...he was stuck in Denver in a horrible snow storm and I could hear the despair in his voice when he realized he couldn't make it home to comfort me and the feeling sadness in his tone when he said he loved me and that I would be ok. After hanging up the phone I felt so alone. I called my mom in disbelief hoping she could bring the boys to the hospital before I went in. What if something went wrong, I wanted to see my boys sweet faces. I called my friend Liz for support, she always knows what to say to calm me down...she told me that I would be ok and that she loved me...just hearing her voice me made me feel a little better ~Thanks Liz. As soon as I hung up with Liz, Courtney called letting me know I was going to be ok and that she was praying for me~Thank you so much Courtney. My dad luckily was in Murray and rushed to the hospital and he and Christopher gave me a blessing which brought me some comfort but I was still in shock, was this really happening?? As I was being wheeled to the OR I called my mom so I could talk to my boys, trying not to cry and assured them I was going to be ok and told them how much I loved them, it was very hard. Only about 20 minutes had past since I was told that I was going in for surgery and I was taken into the bright, white, cold OR with lots a unfamiliar faces buzzing around and am overwhelming fear came over me..I was scared not in shock, scared. I laid there as I was prepared for surgery with my eyes closed sobbing thinking about my sons and asking Heavenly Father to watch over me and my family and bring comfort to Ryan. I remembered all the encouraging words and I love yous that took place just minutes before and suddenly felt at peace....I wasn't alone. The doctor leaned over me and said "Renee you are going to start feeling a sting" and that was that.......
I don't remember anything until about 8 that night, Ryan said I talked to him shortly after the surgery but I don't remember. I just remember thinking "I made it" I know it's silly but the concept of surgery terrified me. I couldn't sleep at all in the hospital and the pain pills made me sick. I was thankful to hear from many of friends and family. My mom, sister and brother dropped everything to stay at my house to take care of me and my sons~Thank you I don't know what I would have done without you!! My mom brought the boys to see me in the hospital Tuesday afternoon and it made my day, I immediately felt better!! Landon was afraid of me but quickly warmed up and climbed up on the bed and hugged me. I wanted to hug them forever and was so happy when the doctor decided to let me go home :) Over the next 5 days, many friends I haven't spoken to in months called to offer anything that would help and to let me know that I was in their prayers. I want to say thank you for all the dinners (some sent from across the valley, thank you John and Heather), flowers, many many phone calls, comfy socks ;) text messages, visits and prayers....it has meant more to me than you will know.
With Ryan now home and my air bubbles subsiding (thank goodness) I look forward to a speedy recovery and getting back to my busy life. I am so very thankful for my family and friends and appreciate all of you that have reached out to me this week. Life gets crazy and complicated but it warmed my heart to hear I was in your thoughts and prayers. My new moto lately has been Memories, remember the best, forget the rest...I will be forgetting the surgery but remembering all your love, support and blessings :) Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!