I have discovered something life altering. I think you will agree, when you make this particular discovery, your life changes for the better. Be careful, this kind of attitude adjustment requires you to take personal time for growth. Are you ready for it? I am not sure you are. You want speed. You want MASS validation from the world. Your are comfortable with complacency. How about taking the time to learn how to enjoy what you have?
This discovery has helped me.
I want peace, I want to really get to know my children. I want to hold my husband. I want the time to serve my family and those put in my path. I don't want to miss a sweet sigh, a defining question, a smile, a hug from my husband and children. I want to enjoy the simple things in life.
Do you know what I am talking about yet? Okay. I will tell you. But I think it will require additional convincing.
YOUR EVERY DAY LIFE IS NOT BORING! Yes, Its true. I know you don't believe me, but please try. Just because the world is unaware of your everyday efforts does not mean your life does not have meaning. Just because you may feel uncomfortable in some way does not mean your life does not hold value! I think this is where you might have confused the issue: just because you feel discomfort, irritation and you don't get your way 99.9% of the time doesn't mean your life falls short in any way.
I believe that irritation, discomfort and NOT getting your way helps you stretch and grow, grants you depth and enjoyment that you deserve in every way.
Here are ways to enjoy your life and change your attitude and feel JOY!
#1 SLOW DOWN. I find that slowing down allows you to take the time to listen to that little voice and find opportunistic moments to serve your family and those around you.
#2 SERVICE. As you already know service moments can feel very inconvenient. This is why slowing down your life, is key. When obvious service moments fail to show up, seek them out. Do it without money or expensive gifts. Do something that feels uncomfortable and you will feel growth and fulfillment. Serve like you will never get; money, a thank you, a hug, or anything. Serve to feel good. You will find your reward is increased love and compassion for those you serve.
#3 LET GO OF THE NEGATIVE! When you feel anxiety, under-appreciated and frustration, stop (or like my six your old says "PAUSE") and exercise your agency. Choose to let go of negative feelings (as hard as it may feel)!
#4 THINK POSITIVE. Work hard to muster up all the positive things you have gained from your service. You see, this kind of positive self talk requires lots and lots of practice and does not come easily. Think of your positive self talk like a muscle; it takes consistent and most ALWAYS uncomfortable effort to think positive.
Just because a negative thought pops into your head doesn't mean you are a depressed person. It is when you take that thought and you allow it to fester and build; you give it a name, you dress it up, you take it out to eat and give it a place to sleep. This is when this thought will lead you down the inevitable road of depression and chronic negativity.
On the flip side, when a negative though pops in your head, you must practice letting it go. Don't invite it in to stay. Sometimes, this can be very difficult and may require additional effort like, writing down your thought, you can even burn it later. Find a safe, appropriate person to vent. You can even get on your knees and pray to Heavenly Father for help! (Now just because I brought up prayer and Father in Heaven, don't discount me.) Prayer to Father in Heaven is a very real and live source of help. I have found deep insight for myself when I have been on my knees pleading for a change of attitude. I have also felt a sense of acceptance for myself as well as a comfort in my life.
Try to read on a little more. When I struggle with more difficult situations, I go through a study process. I write down my feelings and thoughts. Not as just a rant session. I dig for insight. I give my feelings words and try to describe them. I determine I must let go, but to do this I must exercise a bit more. I do this by finding a positive song (often times in the hymn book) and then I WRITE IT DOWN. I read a lesson out of the ENSIGN that pertains to my situation and I write down my favorite quotes from the article. I search the scriptures for verses that pertain to me, I write down those favorite verses. Last, I write down the thoughts that come to me as my attitude alters and changes. I write down what I have learned and gained. I write down my blessings. I write down a past experiences. I have even found other helpful books, articles and online talks that provide inspired insight to the situation. You can start the study process with a prayer and end it with a prayer. I get on my knees and beg Heavenly Father for additional help and insight and then I write down those thoughts that come to me as inspiration. I must always pray and thank my Father in Heaven for helping me with inspiration as well as the materials I searched to find insight.
This has been like my personal university, my personal study hall as I have tried to create an environment of learning, from my personal life experiences. I am less afraid of feeling irritated or feeling inconvenienced, because I have found that I can exercise my agency and turn these feelings into "moments of learning and self growth."
I challenge you to find ways to be positive on a regular basis. I have other ways of remaining positive, like, surrounding myself with positive media, uplifting music, books, shows, etc. I keep my conversations positive with family and friends and learn from their efforts to remain positive.
#5 APOLOGIZE. You may feel you are always right in certain situations. You may have a good point. But your point of view is just that, YOUR POINT OF VIEW. No one else's. If you express an opinion and it is rejected or you have offended the other person. STOP talking and listen. Listen as hard as it may be for you. If you find your situation escalating out of control take a breather, internally or step away. Show maturity and do it calmly. Then apologize without the use of the word "but." For example, "I apologize for arguing and not hearing your point of view but I did it because you..." Just apologize and try to hear and see another point of view.
#6 FORGIVE. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Your perspective will be altered and you will find joy in this.
#7 LAUGH! LAUGH! Laugh. Laugh, love and enjoy life people. If you don't feel like laughing. Smile, even while driving down the road. Force yourself to smile and see what happens.
Look at every day life as a positive experience that will grant you a wonderful new perspective. This perspective will stretch you and allow you to become a well refined human being. I challenge you to stretch and exercise your positive muscles! ~Sharee Hale Jones